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I’m Still Here

February 6, 2013 by Leave a Comment

It’s been so long since I have posted. According to the site, the last post was back in November. I’m still here. And I’m still alive and surviving internship.

I plan to continue blogging. I will just need time to sit down and write. Often, I get home and just want to eat and sleep. But I will need to begin writing again.

There are so many stories and experiences to share.

I will also have to update the header image of this blog. I’m not quite in medical school anymore.

This week I have off. It is my 2nd (of 3) week of vacation. Unfortunately it cannot be a true vacation — I’m trying to use it to study for Step 3 which I am taking in a few weeks. And even when I am not actively studying, my mind is telling me that I SHOULD be studying.

I feel like a student again. But only because I have a Step 3 test to study for.

Well, until next time…

I will continue to write. I will continue to blog. Stay tuned.

Filed Under: My Life, Residency Tagged With: , ,
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Geriatrics and Palliative Care Medicine

November 18, 2012 by Leave a Comment

That’s what this month has been all about.

Ok, so I did get a week of vacation at the beginning of the month, but after that I have been dealing with senior citizen patients, quite a few of whom are hospice care patients.

It has been strange — the palliative and home care side of things, that is. I feel like I have spent the last few years preparing for a career in which I do everything I can in order to help someone get better. And on occasion, we must get out of nature’s way and allow death to happen. However, this month I feel like that model of medicine has been flipped upside down — that my role has now shifted.

I feel like so many of the patients I see are desperate for help. They crave to die with dignity and with peace. And for that, they look to us.

It is different when the family members of patients come looking to you, not for hope in a recovery, but for hope in a peaceful passing.

I have a great deal of respect for physicians who choose to go into palliative medicine. I used to look at the specialty of Oncology/Hematology as the “saddest” of specialties. Yet it seems the field of Palliative Care is grimmer still.

Perhaps I am just not used to it.

But maybe I don’t want to get used to it.

Filed Under: My Life, Residency Tagged With: , , , , , , ,
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Month One

August 8, 2012 by 2 Comments

The first month of intern year is over. It was definitely a ride. For my first rotation I was assigned to the local county hosptial for a month of in-patient medicine. I have been told that the two hardest rotations of the intern year here are the months at county and the MICU month at the Universtiy Medical Center. Seeing as I’m still alive and breathing, and that I still have a job, I’d say that I survived my month.

The first challenge I encountered was just transitioning from a medical student to intern. I remember being asked things by nurses as a Sub-I (during my 4th year), or any other rotation. I could always fall back on the “I’m sorry, I’m just the student. I’ll let my team know” response. Even if I had an idea of what the answer would be, I couldn’t give any nursing orders.

And so the first challenge was transitioning from the one who could always defer (actually, I had to defer), to the one that now should be able make some calls regarding patient care without always running to the senior resident or attending with a “Can I do such-and-such for so-and-so” type of question.

Another part about transitioning from student to resident is that now I am a “doctor.” Now I have an M.D. after my name. Now my signature has the power to make things happen. Now I wear a long white coat (instead of the short one reserved for medical students). It was pretty trippy the first time I heard someone call me “Doctor.” Sure, I had had patients call me “doc,” or “doctor” as a student. But I always introduced myself as the student. Now, I introduce myself as Dr. W. and the nurses call me Dr. W.

They call me “doctor.” How weird is that? It was a weird thing for me when residency began. Heck, it’s still a weird thing for me if I pause and think about it. But I’m in this for the long haul. I’m not planning a career change anytime in the next decade. I’ll probably be called “doctor” for a long time — likely for the rest of my life. Might as well start getting used to it.

Filed Under: My Life, Residency Tagged With: , , ,
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Dr. W?

June 18, 2012 by 2 Comments

I was waiting in the lobby of the building. I had a 9:30 appointment with human resources. I knew they wanted to take a picture for my ID badge. I assumed I would be given some other info as well. I had already previously completed a bunch of new hire “paperwork” online.

As I sat and waited (im)patiently in the lobby I started playing with my phone. Then I heard a male voice call out, “Dr. W?” (And he did a decent job of pronouncing my last name, too!)

I almost laughed out loud. But I stood up and went to meet him, all the while trying so hard not to have a weird grin.

It’s still weird to hear someone seriously call me “doctor.” Better get used to it though. I start on service in about two weeks…

Filed Under: My Life, Residency Tagged With: , ,
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It’s Over, But Not Really

June 4, 2012 by 4 Comments

It is now just over a week since I marched at my Commencement ceremony and received my diploma. Yes, the actual diploma was inside the folder — which is very exciting since all my previous diplomas (college and high school) had to be mailed to me once the financial office had decided that I no longer owed the school any money.

I suppose that this is officially my first post as an MD. I am now a graduate. I now can tack on the suffix M.D. to my name. I remember just one day after graduation I sat staring at my diploma. As I stared at it, I almost could not believe it was in front of me. I looked at the piece of paper — a sheet of paper that has been the most expensive (physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally) paper I have ever earned.
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During the days prior to graduation, I remember feeling excited. At the same time, I also felt nervous. Nervous about being done. Nervous about new responsibilities. Nervous about wearing the long white coat I have wanted ever since I looked into the mirror and saw how ridiculous my short white coat looked. I am now waiting for my long coat. Literally. I sent an email to the Graduate Medical Education (GME) office a few weeks ago with my size. I hope I sent in the right size. Again, I am excited. But again, I am nervous about the long white coat and all the responsibility it represents.

I have a few more weeks before residency starts and I step onto the wards as a new intern. During this time I will have to complete some online modules and get certified for Advanced Cardiac Life Support (ACLS). I will also complete my move into a new place. It is a few weeks that I know will go by very quickly. Actually, I feel like the next few years will go quickly, but I don’t really want to think about that at this point.

And so, my medical school career is over. One chapter is completed. But I know that I am far from the end. Medical training continues at the next stage — residency. I know, too, that it will continue long after I leave residency. Medicine, as they have taught me throughout medical school, is about lifelong learning. In the grand scheme of things, I am still at the beginning. I have “leveled up,” but I’m still at a very low level.

I have a long way to go. I know the road ahead will be hard. But it’ll be full of adventure, I’m sure.

I will continue to blog here. For those of you who have been following my journey thus far, I hope you stick around.

Filed Under: Medical School, My Life, Residency Tagged With: , ,
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Almost There

April 30, 2012 by 2 Comments

I am currently on the last rotation of my medical school career. It’s a 4-week elective called Whole Person Care. One week down. Three weeks to go.

A few weeks ago they began erecting the canopies for the graduation ceremonies. Throughout the month of May, the various schools on campus will be holding their own graduation celebrations. The School of Medicine will be having their commencement on the 27th of May.

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It’s pretty surreal to think the journey is coming to another milestone. I cannot say that the journey is coming to an end because I know I am nowhere near the end of it. Medicine is not a short journey that ends with a cap (or a tam) and gown. It continues for a lifetime.

As I finish this phase, though, I hope to continue writing and blogging here. I hope to share the ups and downs as they occur. Or maybe months later when I have had time to cool off or decompress. The fun, I’m sure, will continue and there will be plenty of stories to share.

Filed Under: Medical School, My Life
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Film & Medicine

March 11, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Aside from my pathophysiology paper that was due last Friday (which I need to start finish sometime today), I am done with that two week elective.

Tomorrow I start another two week elective. It’s called “Film & Medicine.”

I’ve gotten some wide eyes when I tell people that I’m going to be spending the next two weeks doing an elective called “Film & Medicine.”

From the course syllabus:

Because film encapsulates narrative efficiently, this seminar screens and discusses feature films which focus on stories about medical care. Films are chosen that explore the humanity of both physician and patient as prominent components of quality health care.

There looks to be quite a few interesting films scheduled to be viewed this year. In addition to the films, we have to write a 2-3 page paper and read the John Irving book The Cider House Rules.

Here are the list of movies:

I’m pretty excited about this class. It should be fun.

Oh, I am going to miss fourth year when it ends.

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