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Are you there?

A longtime reader (and by longtime reader, I mean my mother) of this blog recently commented to me that I haven’t been writing here very much as of late.

As a blogger, I suppose it is good to know that your absence is missed — even if that absence is noted by your mother.

My last post was published prior to this academic year ending. I was wrapping up my year as a Chief Resident. It truly was a good year. I felt that I learned a lot and developed not only as a clinician but an educator and (dare I say it) administrator too.

Am I still here? Do I still exist? Well the answer is yes, obviously. I have been left in the post residency… afterglow? Is it even appropriate to call it that?

Though I did round as the attending physician during my chief residency, those stints were scattered here and there. Now, however, that is life. I’m no longer involved in the inner workings of residency administration. And that’s ok. It’s time to move on. The new chiefs have taken over that baton beautifully.

But it does sort of force you to redefine your life. Because for so long life has been about training and learning and education and answering to a program director.

Sure, I still have a boss and a department chair. But there is a much more autonomous feel to it now.

I’ve taken up some leadership positions. I’m trying to get involved with our institution in ways I feel I can contribute positively. I’m working with residents and medical students. Overall, though, I feel that the path is now less defined and it’s up to myself to figue out where I’m going to point this ship.

That’s an exciting, scary, and daunting idea.

But this journey goes on.

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The Twists & Turns of Life

As I look at my blog it seems that I have not written an update since November of 2014. I do apologize for not being better in keeping up with writing. I am not sure who I am apologizing to, though, as I have no clue about who is actually still reading this.

A few days ago I came by to browse through my archives. It was a trip down memory lane, so to speak. As a blog, this one has been around for quite a while. My first post, although it was moved over here from a previous iteration, was written while I was still an undergraduate student back in the 2005-2006 academic year. I definitely did not forsee where I would be today.

Last year I remember blogging about fellowship applications. Even that did not go as planned. I started out the fellowship application season intent on joining the NRMP Match hoping for a spot in Nephrology. My plan was to puruse nephrology and then follow that up with a year of critical care training. I even interviewed at Henry Ford’s combined Nephrology/Critical Care program.

But life happens. Life sometimes gets in the way of — well, life.

As the deadline approached I was faced with many questions. I wrestled with these questions and in the end decided that it would be best for me to withdraw from the fellowship match. It was not an easy decision. And on the weekend prior to the deadline to finalize rank lists, I officially withdrew.

I have not ruled out a fellowship. But I had decided that at this time, it would be best for me to wait.

There were many questions that I faced in making this decision. I won’t share all of them. But some included quality of life, lifestyle, job satisfaction, and family.

After making my decision I spoke with our Internal Medicine Program Director. He was one of the faculty members who wrote a letter of recommendation for me. I shared my decision with him — that I had decided not to participate in the match. He asked if I had ever considered doing a year as a chief resident. He had no idea that I had. In fact, as an intern I had actually thought I wanted to one day be a chief resident. And so I answered that it was something that I had been interested in doing in the past.

Now, about 5 months away from the end of residency, I find myself as one of the future Internal Medicine Chief Residents.

Life is full of twists and turns. Sometimes, half the fun is watching where it takes you.