That’s what this month has been all about.

Ok, so I did get a week of vacation at the beginning of the month, but after that I have been dealing with senior citizen patients, quite a few of whom are hospice care patients.

It has been strange — the palliative and home care side of things, that is. I feel like I have spent the last few years preparing for a career in which I do everything I can in order to help someone get better. And on occasion, we must get out of nature’s way and allow death to happen. However, this month I feel like that model of medicine has been flipped upside down — that my role has now shifted.

I feel like so many of the patients I see are desperate for help. They crave to die with dignity and with peace. And for that, they look to us.

It is different when the family members of patients come looking to you, not for hope in a recovery, but for hope in a peaceful passing.

I have a great deal of respect for physicians who choose to go into palliative medicine. I used to look at the specialty of Oncology/Hematology as the “saddest” of specialties. Yet it seems the field of Palliative Care is grimmer still.

Perhaps I am just not used to it.

But maybe I don’t want to get used to it.